In my job, I’ve helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I’ve heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.
I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)
I know you don’t really believe these reasons, or why would you be trying to stop smoking. Still, a part of you DOES believe these reasons.
A part of you MUST believe your reasons or you would have quit smoking by now. Now may be a good time to know there are no laws that say your reason to keep smoking has to make sense. They rarely do.
You’ve probably already proven your reasons untrue. Smoking might taste better with coffee because the coffee taste on your tongue covers the bad taste of smoking???
And most of the time you’re AWARE it doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t change anything though, does it? Just one more log to toss on the fire of your motivation to quit. A fire that doesn’t have much chance against the ocean of your craving to smoke.
There are two important sides to this. The feeling that smoking will make you feel better and, the feeling you want to feel better than. That’s what needs to be changed.
If you’re hungry you feel like eating. If you’re tired, you feel like sleeping. If you feel bad (stressed, over-burdened, upset, alone, whatever…) you want to feel good. And, whatever your mind has learned feels good, you feel like doing.
This is an only slightly simplified explanation of a craving. Most smokers have more than one type of craving like, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving feels different than the ‘after lunch’ craving. But the same model applies.
So, what are you supposed to do? I can write several pages talking about this (and I have, look for them) But, it all comes down to modifying the feeling, motivation and belief involved.
First, the ‘bad feeling’ side of things needs to be addressed. If it’s too much stress, get it managed, if it’s a situation that makes you lonely, do what you can to fix it, or look for help.
Second, the ‘looking to feel better’ side of things needs to be updated. (it’s common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc…) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.
And that’s the trick. Quit smoking is mainly about modifying behavior. That’s why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with the medication.
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